contributing
The Surprising Contribution That You’re Already Making
If you work or volunteer for a non-profit organization, chances are, you get excited when people make contributions. Contributions of time and talent mean that the work gets done. Contributions of ideas mean that new perspectives and opportunities emerge. And contributions of money mean that your mission and vision can be realized.
And where else should you be looking for contributions? Wherever you hear the words fault and blame.
Those two words, fault and blame, immediately put people immediately on the defensive, create divisiveness in teams, and make people feel untrusted and untrusting. Cut them out and replace them with the word contribution. When you ask people to think about what contributed to a problem, as well as how they themselves might have contributed to the problem, and who else (including, perhaps, you) had a contribution to this problem, it lowers the heat of the conversation and reminds people that challenging situations are complex, with many players. In fact, I ask my coaching clients to practice the habit of naming their own contribution first when speaking with their team or direct reports, which makes people feel more comfortable admitting their own contributions.
Contributions can range from communicating unclear expectations, setting unreasonable timelines, micromanaging (or under-leading), a lack of follow-up or follow-through, allowing scope-creep, a missed opportunity to offer feedback, ignoring the warning signs, or a failure to speak up or speak out. Contributions can be big or small – and yet, every contribution matters. (Sound familiar?)
The next time a difficult conversation or situation arises, ask yourself, “what was the other person’s contribution to this?” AND ask yourself, “what was mine?”
Fault and blame make people want to stop contributing time, talent, ideas and money. Contribution begets contributions.
So what’s yours?
What the Talmud Says About Lasagna
“A light for one is a light for one hundred.” – Talmud
As profound as the Talmud is, it doesn’t speak to me as clearly as food does (did I mention I’m Jewish?). When I read this quote, my first instinct was to go long — what profound meaning could we find in being a light unto the masses, how could we lift the darkness for one or one hundred, what unique gifts do you have that you can be sharing with more people…
And then, lunchtime came. Which meant that the Talmud was clearly talking about lasagna. Not just any lasagna. My husband Michael’s lasagna.
Michael makes a MEAN lasagna. It’s got all the standard stuff in it — cheeses, spinach, sauce, eggs. It’s got an added twist (a dozen cloves of roasted garlic, which makes for good eating and infrequent kissing on lasagna night). And it probably has some other stuff that I don’t know about, and likely don’t need to know about. In fact, when I suggested the addition of some more spinach the other night, Michael said as respectfully as possible, “could you just let me do it myself???” Hmmm…sort of sounded like one of our 6 year old twins…no, it sounded like someone who knows what he is doing and is saddled with living with a professional coach.
But I digress…
If Michael had just made his lasagna for our family’s eating enjoyment, dayenu. It would have been enough. A light (meal) for one (family). But here’s the thing. We invite people over a lot. And Michael makes his lasagna. So for my sister-in-law Rachel, who doesn’t cook, lasagna night at our house is a huge treat. Really. A light for another family. Dayenu. And then we (he) started making an extra pan each time, to give to Rachel. But wait — then Rachel asked if she could come over on Sunday and have Michael teach her how to make the lasagna so she could have it any time she wanted, and cook it for others. Give a girl a lasagna and she eats for a day. But teach her…you get it. A light for many more. Nice. Dayenu.
But here was where the light shone even brighter: Our good friend Amy’s son is having his Bar Mitzvah next Shabbat, and Amy (having experienced Michael’s culinary magnum opus) commissioned Michael to make several pans of his lasagna for her extended family’s post-simcha celebration! Would we send her the list of ingredients and she would go to the story for us? she suggested. Could she write us a check to cover labor and materials? she offered.
No way. Michael’s pleasure and honor to be a part of the simcha. From a humble tomato and noodle comes my husband’s light unto a hundred (well, 25+ aunts, uncles and cousins, but you get the gist.)
Yes, I will resist the urge to go long, except to ask you: what are you currently enjoying that others might enjoy as well? Post here!
And of course, Es gezunterheyt! (Yiddish for Bon Apetit)
Deb
www.myjewishcoach.com
www.myjewishcoach.blogspot.com
www.jewishorganizations.blogspot.com
Do You Know Your Top 3 Goals for 2008?
Take the free 5 Minute Quiz and download your Free Goals Report!
Get it here: http://www.FreeGoalsReport.com/quiz.asp?id=2243