goal management
What I Learned about Motivation on My Summer Vacation
I’ve just returned from a two-week vacation in Israel, Jordan and Spain – and I am writing this email saddled with incredible jet lag, some squishy new love handles made from gelato, falafel and Manchego cheese, and many beautiful memories to last a lifetime.
What made this trip so special for me? My sole travel companion was my 15-year-old son, Jacob.
I knew that we would both enjoy sampling the local cuisines (luckily, gelato is always a local cuisine), taking history tours, shopping, swimming, and just wandering around. And I also knew that this trip would benefit from planning beyond flights, excursions, and lodging. It would require us to shift from a task focus (the what, where, when, and how of getting the trip off the ground) to a relationship focus (the who we were — separately and together – and why we were choosing to do this together.)
Admittedly, it’s that kind of focus that busy, driven people who are motivated by getting things crossed off their to-do lists often neglect — and the costs of that neglect include the loss of connection, collaboration, ownership, engagement, and meaning.
I didn’t want to look back on this trip and only be proud of what we did, where we went and how we got there. I wanted to look back on this trip and be proud of who we were and what we built together.
Can you think of a partnership or team you work on (or live with) that could benefit from a little more of that?
Here are 10 questions I asked my son and myself before our trip that you can bring to your next staff meeting, board meeting or Labor Day vacation.
- What’s our purpose for doing this?
- What could we do that would have each of us jump out of bed in the morning with excitement to get started?
- What would make each of us want to crawl back into bed and say, “I’ll pass”?
- What have we done in the past that we want to make sure we repeat?
- What have we done in the past that we want to make sure we don’t repeat?
- What do we each want to learn/get better at/get smarter about?
- How might we veto something that one of us really doesn’t like/doesn’t want to do?
- How should we let the other person know when we’re feeling stressed/sad/tired/overwhelmed/frustrated?
- How should we ask for personal time/space without it feeling “personal”?
- What would we want our sound bite about this [project/task/challenge/opportunity/trip] to be a month after? Six months after? A year after? 10 years after?
Great Question #2 from a Strategic Planning Session
So, when we last left off, our question was “Is it sustainable”?…
What an ironic question. Every time I sit down to blog, I tell myself “Keep going! Don’t quit! Do another one tomorrow.” And alas, now three weeks after the last blog post I realize that blogging is only sustainable for me if I commit to doing it by scheduling it into my calendar.
So enough about me: Here’s the second great question:
“Does it add value?”
I mean, think about it: What’s the point in doing something sustainable (“Yes, we can keep doing this!”) if it doesn’t add value (“But who cares if we do or we don’t?”)
Think about something you are doing at work. For example, you say, yes, we’ve committed to holding Monday morning staff meetings (sustainable). But how are you adding value by doing that? What objectives are you achieving — or even more pointedly — what objectives are you achieving in your regular Monday morning staff meetings that could not be achieved any other way?
Before you add anything else to your to do list, run what you currently have listed through the two questions: Is it sustainable? Does it add value?
Then, see what you can eliminate before you add more.
And keep me in the loop!
Deborah
www.myjewishcoach.com
headcoach@myjewishcoach.com
Get Moving on those Goals by Eating Elephant Steaks
Few things stop us as much as the start.
Face it: you can set all the goals in the world, but actually taking the first step towards achieving it can be the biggest hurdle of all. Often the goals we set are difficult, complex, or ask us to make tough choices. So we don’t even start.
Here’s a piece of advice that has helped me, and many of my clients, get started on goal attainment: Think of elephants.
Of course…elephants! Elephants??? What about ‘em?
Here’s Elephant Tip #1: Eat elephant steaks. It’s nothing new, and it’s based on the old, old joke, “How do you eat an elephant?” “One bite at a time!”
I know, I know…not kosher…(the joke OR the elephant).
Think of the goal as an elephant, and then cut that elephant into steaks. Steaks that are substantial enough to be noticed on your plate, but not so big that they choke, stuff or scare you. Then cut that steak into bite-size pieces, and eat one at a time.
Try this approach:
Goal #1: ____________________________________________________________
Elephant Steak 1:______________________________________
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- Bite 1:_______________________________________________________
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- Bite 2:_______________________________________________________
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- Bite 3:_______________________________________________________
Elephant Steak 2:______________________________________
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- Bite 1:_______________________________________________________
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- Bite 2:_______________________________________________________
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- Bite 3:_______________________________________________________
Elephant Steak 3:_____________________________________
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- Bite 1:_______________________________________________________
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- Bite 2:_______________________________________________________
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- Bite 3:_______________________________________________________
…and so on.
Having trouble cutting your elephant into steaks, or your steaks into bites? Ask a friend, family member or someone you trust to help you cut your meat. Just like in the old days!
Wondering what Elephant Tip#2 is? Stay tuned…
