Last Friday, the kids and I went to a kindergarten graduation party (my kids were the “elderstatesmen” as first graders!). In addition to sno-cones, face-painting and goldfish give-aways (thanks a lot!!!), the kids had the opportunity to guess how many pieces of gum were in the Double Bubble container from Costco. Jacob guessed 200, and Sophie asked me to guess for her, so I said 150.

Well, lo and behold, Jacob won the entire tub, which had 250 pieces! Since we had come to the party on bikes, I had to strap the tub to the back of my bike with bungee cords. On our ride home, Sophie was bemoaning her rare loss of a contest. And while she didn’t blame me (exactly), she did proclaim: “I should have used my own brain!”

In coaching, I often ask my clients whose voices they hear when thinking about what they “should” or “shouldn’t” do. Many times, it’s the voice of a parent, a supervisor, a friend, a spouse, etc. — rather than their own — which makes the decision about how to progress a noisy one. We work to clear out the clutter of other people’s voices so that the client can hear their own thinking, loud and clear,

So in honor of Sophie, I ask you to think about this when facing your next set of “shoulds”: Whose brain are you using?