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    How to Become a Feedback Magnet (Video)

    Feedback concept with hand pressing a button“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.”

    Elon Musk

    “All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual.”

    Albert Einstein

    Question to Sheryl Sandberg: “What’s the number one thing you look for in someone who can scale with a company?”

    Her answer:

    “Someone who takes feedback well. Because people who can take feedback well are people who can learn and grow quickly.”

    The ability to give feedback is a critical skill for leaders and teams, and plenty of us have received training and coaching on how to do exactly that. The ability to receive feedback is an equally important skill, and yet very few of us have learned how to do that without:

    • Defensiveness (“That’s just not true!”)
    • Dismissal (“Who are YOU to tell me that?”)
    • Distain (“Ugh. I don’t want to hear this.”)
    • Distortion (“This must mean I am a horrible person.”)
    • Discounting (“It’s no big deal.”)

    Why does this matter? Because studies show that feedback seekers experience greater job satisfaction, lower turnover, adapt faster in a new organization or new role, demonstrate greater creativity on the job, and have higher performance ratings, especially if they seek out NEGATIVE feedback.

    Who wouldn’t want that?

    In my recent Harvard Business Review Facebook Live presentation on “How to Give and Receive Feedback”, I share user-friendly tips, tools and techniques for how to make feedback (both giving and receiving) less stressful and more successful. More than 84,500 viewers worldwide have watched this in the past few weeks – and have sent me their feedback – and I invite you to do so, too. Email me to headcoach@myjewishcoach.com.

    The Power of a Six Word Ask

    Hand arrange wood letters as Six word

    By Guest Maven Alina Gerlovin Spaulding

    It is legend that Hemingway was challenged to write a novel in just 6 words… to which he responded: “For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.”

    There’s a terrific story about Earnest Hemingway, which, like most stories about him, begins as a bar brawl.

    Years later, Smith Magazine challenged readers to write their memoirs in 6 words.  Nearly overnight, there were so many compelling responses, that they published a book called: Not Quite What I Was Planning.

    A dear friend and fellow philanthropist and fundraiser, Alison Lebovitz, ran a program by which I was completely taken.  In a room full of female leaders, she said: “everyone has a story, what’s yours?”  She challenged us to introduce ourselves, in just six words.  Although nearly every person in the room was a friend of mine, I learned more in the brevity and intention of those six-word introductions than I may have ever learned in years of friendship.  The most important aspects were distilled and communicated.

    I started using this technique with other groups… I asked a group of day school heads to capture the mission of their school in 6 words: “Keep climbing, the view is awesome.”  And for a new, low-cost private school, in New York, we heard “It’s affordable, go have another kid!”  When I asked a group of teen leaders to tell me a 6-word story about how they intend to change the world, one teen said: “I don’t now where to start.”  Someone who did this project with Dr. Ruth said that her story was: “I wish for everyone, great sex!”

    I know a very quick thinking, impatient rabbi who said, “I got it in 5”.  These two made me smile: “My life made my therapist laugh” and “fourth choice to prom, still overcompensating”.

    Here are some other examples that might resonate:

    The work we do is sacred.

    We help Jews, wherever they are.

    My community is a global one.

    Why Federation? I can give directly.

    LOVE the J! Ask me Y!

    Another generation, hanging at the JCC.

    Thank G-d for non-Jewish members!

    There’s something magical about the ease and brevity of this task.  Now, when I start working on a development project, I ask the team or the leader to give me the mission of the project in 6 words.  They always laugh, but when they actually get it, it opens a new dimension.  What’s the story of your passion?

    If you’d like to learn how to create critical messaging for different types of donors and prospects, become more comfortable (and successful) at asking, and learn how to steward your donors for the long haul, join me for my four week online Maven Class: Donor Development Strategies for Breakthrough Results starting this spring. Early-bird registration now available!

    Testimonials

    “Deb has been a respected speaker and facilitator for a number of our JCC conferences over the past few years. While I've heard about her energy, hard work in preparing, and meaningful content, it took her recent keynote speech at our annual JCCs of North America Professional Conference to make me realize what an incredible asset she is. Watching her present a content-filled, energetic, and personalized session -- without using any notes -- was very impressive. Deb is a multi-talented, serious, and impactful presenter."

    – Allan Finkelstein, Past President and CEO, JCC Association of North America

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